By: Kieran McKendrick
You've probably seen Snoopy on top of his doghouse typing "It was a dark and stormy night."
That famous opening line from Bulwer Lytton has been satirized and ridiculed and turned into a writing contest because it's overdone purple prose at its finest.
While you would never submit a novel to a publisher with that opening line, there's no reason not to use it (or something like it) in one of your drafts. In fact, using that line or any other over the top phrase is perfect for getting ideas down on paper.
At your next writing session, get out the purple paper, the purple pen and write down the most overused phrase or cliché you can think of. The closer it is to dreck, the better. In this draft, you want to write as badly as you possibly can. As you start describing the scenes and some of the actions in it, overwrite as much as possible. Have fun with it.
Don't try to get it right. That's what causes the words to freeze up and go into hiding until you go do something else.
Try writing crap on purpose. Instead of trying to get it right, write one of those "dark and stormy night" paragraphs (or two or three or more). The more purple the prose, the better. Get all those feelings you have about the situation and the characters onto the page in as lurid a way as possible. As you work, the right words will eventually come and it'll end up being a lot better than you expected. More importantly, you'll have something on paper that you can work with.
Then you can revise until the prose isn't purple any more, but at least you will have written and moved your story ahead. More importantly, you also had fun. And that's what makes it easier to sit down the next time and do some more.
So what kind of night is it where you are?
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